Ive only really noticed it since it started to stop. Ive been ...flat ever since I was about 17.
Before being 17, i used to sing and dance and be all giddy. Only now has that giddiness and happiness returned. like... past few weeks or so?...

I think its down to a lot of things, but primarily, the lack of change. All through my child years i was doing the usual changes; changing schools and friends etc. And that was good.

Then we went to New Zealand for two years. Completely differant world, new people, places and even strange little things, like the air and rain smelling differant. It was new and exciting. When that didnt work out and we came back to the UK. A move to Scotland, more new people and stuff. More friends and even a relationship with James, which i wasnt expecting to happen until i was about 28.

But, since then, i feel like nothings really happened. I lost James, which in hindsight was maybe a blessing in disguise. I went to university, but thats just relaxed school. University hasnt changed. Same lecturers, same stuff, even same goddamn room, for over three years. Nothing new. BAH.

I need variety! I think im gonna be one of these people who ends up living just about everywhere like some wierd nomad.

But for some reason now, i think im becoming genuinely happy, like i used to be. Im more driven to drawing, dancing, singing, all the things id stopped doing. Im not really sure whats brought this on, but i think its cos university is nearing an end. Get a job, move out, new life begin. I can SEE IT NOWWWWWWWW!

Hopefully.

So many things i want to do! Learn Japanese, take up tai-chi, get a dog and do flyball (if the dog wants to, obviously), up and at em, COME ONNNNNN!
I want to learn to cook! Look after MYSELF! Im all entheused! WOOOOO YEAHHHHHHHH!

<--- the spirit of Lee is with me.